Today was my 2nd full day of staying clear of the porn and the mighty destruction that it brings me. Cold turkey is not do-able if one does not set their mind fully into the doing of it and not lingering in doubt and questions.
I went to 'Pink Saturday' tonight after work. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of people, booming music on 5 separate stages, a huge mirror ball with speakers hung from a crane over Noe street, the usual Pink Triangle(Thank you Nazi Germany for that!!) spread out below the lookout of Twin Peaks hill, lights under and around it, a laser light show, throngs of bodies pushing to and fro, drinking excessively(not me!!), the inability to move comfortably, trash everywhere(let's not candy coat anything, shall we not?), gorgeous half-naked specimens, many totally naked "ungorgeous" and downright hideous specimens as well, tits dangling, balls on display. Isn't the human creature an interesting and watchable spectacle?
I am skipping the parade up Market street tomorrow as a means of minimizing my exposure to more of the destructive messaging that comes when I see those parts and whole persons whom I deem are "perfect" as I told of last night. It is a part of my undoing of these destructive and divisive patterns that are intimately linked to porn, perfect visual images and my own lack of self-worth. There will be plenty of eye candy on display and I have no intention of exposing myself to more of the same dissatisfying pain that has accompanied me for far too long. I can do this, cold turkey, for one day today. I will deal with what comes my way tomorrow but I am going to minimize the exposure to assist myself in getting through it with gratitude and satisfaction. I wish myself all the best.......
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